


in the dark

by rivkael



Series: modern!AU shenanigans [3]
Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Canon Compliant, Ficlet, Gen, Illidan Stormrage is Not Okay, Imprisonment, Mental Health Issues, Stream of Consciousness, he's clinging to his sanity and doing his best, the length of his imprisonment was ridiculous fite me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 03:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14907638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivkael/pseuds/rivkael
Summary: He's been in here too long.





	in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> ...this details bad mental health stuff. It's not fun. There is no *hopeful* bit at the end. Just a warning.

It’s dark dark dark dark--

 

His name is Illidan. His brother is Malfurion. His love is Tyrande, who loves Malfurion. 

 

He paces. His feet touch the floor and he counts  _ one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. _

 

His name is Illidan-

 

This is pointless. He kneels with a huff. How many times has he cycled through this endless loop? His cursed vision shows him the wards that keep his cell and himself clean and alive. He cannot mark the hours. He knows he’s been in here too long, alone too long, for it to be fine when he gets out.

 

Sometimes he calls for his brother, for Tyrande, even for Elune or the Wardens. Nobody answers, because the guards abandoned their posts long ago. The wards protecting him are still strong but he hasn’t spoken to anyone but himself in… so long. There’s nobody to hear him out in the dark dark dark dark—

 

Illidan digs his fingers into his calves, squeezing his eyes shut. His name is Illidan. His brother is Malfurion. His love is Tyrande, who loves Malfurion.

 

He knows this cell better than himself, than anything outside. He’s been in here far longer than he was outside. 

 

He calls for his magic and as always, it deserts him. The arcane power that used to warm his veins hasn’t touched him once in this cell. He curses out loud, not sure who he is cursing. His voice hurts his throat, he must remember to speak more often.

 

He doesn’t remember a lot of things, now.

 

It’s been too long. He knows that he is Illidan. He has a brother, who has a love who is also his own love. But parents? He doesn’t know their names or faces. He was put in here for something to do with a font of power, and demons.

 

A lord of demons gave him his cursed vision. He can remember that one’s face, if not his name. The pain of losing his eyes… is the sharpest pain he remembers.

 

Malfurion… he knows Malfurion has a beard, and antlers. And he smells of moss. He thinks he’d know him if he saw him but… that’s not likely. Tyrande… all he knows is that she belongs to Elune and Malfurion, but not him.

 

He claws at his skin and the marks disappear almost before he removes his fingers. 

 

He stands, and begins to pace again;  _ one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. One, two- _

 

He falls back to his knees. His name is Illidan- he grasps at that fact, makes it tangible. He says it out loud until the word loses meaning and he’s left wondering if that truly is his name or if he’s forgotten that, too.

 

He tries to sleep, but sleep eludes him. In a cell where he is kept alive and sustained through magic, how can he hope to convince his body to sleep? He manages it rarely, always scared that he will sleep through the end of the world.

 

He’s forgotten so much, in some ways he doubts he’d know the world if he was released, even if nothing has changed.

 

Are Malfurion and Tyrande still alive? Did they get married? Did they have a child, or several? 

 

_ What has he missed, and will he ever find out _ ?

 

He breathes as loudly as he can, the harsh noises the only sound in his world. The cell is silent. Maybe the world has ended. Maybe he is the only one left-

 

_ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. _ He touches the wall, leaning his forehead on it briefly. 

 

It is the exact same temperature as his skin.

 

_ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. _ His name is Illidan. His brother is Malfurion. His love is Tyrande, who loves Malfurion.

 

His name is Illidan.

 

His name is Illidan.

 

His name is Illidan.

 

He leans on the wall and claws at it, looking for gaps where he can dig his nails in. There’s nothing. There’s always nothing. The wall is smooth, his fingers slide down and down until he is kneeling with his head pressed to it. 

 

It’s so dark, so silent.

 

He speaks aloud again, reciting the things he knows until his voice cracks and dies. 

 

The cell doesn’t bother to heal his vocal chords, so he must wait, in the dark dark dark dark-

 

His name is Illidan. His brother is Malfurion. His love is Tyrande, who loves Malfurion. He clings to these facts, hangs on to them desperately, terrified that he will lose himself completely and become nothing but a shell, sitting in the dark dark dark dark-

 

His brother Malfurion has a beard and antlers. Tyrande belongs to Malfurion and Elune. The one who stole his eyes was a demon lord. His name is Illidan. His name is Illidan his name is Illidan his--

 

It’s so  _ quiet _ .

 

Silent.

 

He sits still for as long as he can, the darkness holding him in the only embrace he remembers. 

 

He can’t remember what it’s like to see another person.

 

It’s too dark dark dark--

 

He’s been forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> My first contribution to the modern AU. Hope it lives up to standards! Don't worry, this will tie pretty fast.


End file.
